Being on the other side

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Today was a horribly tough day.  This morning Zack and I had to take Asher to have his eye surgery for his wandering eye.  We have been putting it off due to my treatments and surgery and we just had to do it. It was pretty sad and awful to see your baby being wheeled into the operating room.

No matter your age or your child’s age, this is a difficult and horrible thing to go through.  On a scale of 1-10, 10 being open heart surgery, this surgery according to his doctor was a .5% risk.  That is obviously a really low percentage, but it is still surgery and anesthesia nonetheless.  I hated every minute of waiting in that waiting room, all of one hour and fifteen minutes.

When his doctor came out and told us that everything went well, a huge sigh of relief came over us and we could breathe.  We had to wait a bit for him to wake up in the recovery room, but once we saw him we could really relax.  It was pretty surreal to see your baby boy, all of four years old on that big gurney with an IV and heart monitors.  I don’t know if I can ever get that out of my head.

I can now see what my parents felt like during all of my surgeries and procedures.  No matter your age, they are your children and the love just pours through your veins and heart.  I have never squeezed my little’s more than I have today.  They are blessings and we just want them to live their lives to the fullest and never have any challenges.  The good thing is that he is handling it like a champ, aside from the eye drops.  It is what it is!

We spent the majority of the afternoon in front of the TV watching Cars and Rescue Bots, today was a complete free pass day for all.  Zack and I were so tired from not sleeping last night, that we both passed out on the couch while Dylan napped and Ash watched TV.

My day ended on a bit of a high note with me giving Dylan a bottle before bed for the first time in exactly one month.  One month has gone by since my surgery.  One month since my body changed.  One month since I have been able to start moving on.  I cried as soon as he was in my arms in his sleep sack, and cried once Zack took him and put him in his crib.  It will be two more weeks until I can lift him or Asher, and those days can’t come soon enough.  Until then, we keep on keeping on.  Right?



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