This morning I have been feeling a bit emotional, but I couldn’t figure out that was what was bothering me. My friend asked me at camp pickup if I was ok, and I said yea. I guess I was giving off body language that proved otherwise, and she was right to pick up on it. Love you.
I didn’t realize that I was sad today, I just shrugged it off as being tired because I didn’t sleep well last night. I never sleep well when Zack goes away, there is always part of me that stays awake and then passes out at 3am really hard. A big fat thank you to my kids for sleeping until 7 today! After I realized I was a bit sad, I realized that I needed a bit of family time to feel better. naturally that meant lunch with mom, dad and Jana. Food is ALWAYS the answer with me, especially when it is recovery week!
Being around family and not being alone (or with two kids and a nanny) always seems to cheer me up. I do love my family, and we have bonded even more these last few months of hell. Without them and of course Zack, I wouldn’t be able to put one foot in front of the other day after day. Having family so close is a blessing, and one that I certainly won’t take for granted ever again.
On the way home from lunch I began to sink down again, and it wasn’t because of the traffic. Just then, “Fight Song” came on the radio and I realized that once again I have a lot of fight left in me. I am not done, this is taking the strength out of me but I will build myself back up step by step. I am not done and will never be done. I will forever be a fighter.
This afternoon I get to take Dylan for his 1 year checkup. Does anyone want to place bets on how much he weighs???
xo,
Jessie