Well, we seem to be rounding third base today. Not totally, but I think I can see the light. Last night was especially rough, and not one that I would like to relive any time soon.
Nothing specifically BAD happened, but I was just so uncomfortable and hungry that I was in a bad spot. Yesterday was the pinnacle of chemo mouth, and any food I looked at literally made my stomach turn. I basically gagged on a baked potato to get food into my belly. I tried to drug myself to sleep, but couldn’t even do that so I gagged down a quesadilla to quiet my stomach down. I think that I finally fell asleep at 1:30am.
Today has been ehh. I had an appointment with my psychologist which was desperately needed. I don’t usually go see her during recovery week, but I was so depressed I needed to get out and go. It definitely helped and I kinda love her. She basically told me that my depression is completely normal and expected. It is kind of like going on a great vacation or sleep away camp, you are so UP UP and then crash down because it’s over. It’s so true. Thank GOD that this chemo nightmare is finally over, and now I have to come to grips with it. Believe me, I am more than OK being done with that nightmare. So I now recover and wait to feel better. I can do that and then it is surgery time!
I also had a lovely visit with a girlfriend today, who immediately cheered me up. Sitting with her for an hour or so was just what the doctor ordered. No talking about the big C, just the kids, life, friends etc. It’s honestly been a long time since I have been able to talk to someone like her, a real meaningful conversation with no strings attached. I tell you, people come into your life and damn are you grateful for them. She even brought me ice cream AND cookies. A keeper I tell you.
I am going to rest for the remainder of the day now, even though I haven’t really done much, I am still exhausted. A little TV and writing not bad, right?
Tomorrow will be even better.
xo,
Jessie