Well, surgery is this week on Wednesday. I can’t believe that it is finally here. I mean i can but can’t at the same time. What a whirlwind these past few months have been! The summer of shit 2016, that’s what we call it around these parts!
We enjoyed ourselves this weekend, and got a day and night alone on Saturday. That was awesome and much needed. Our fancy date night turned into going down the street to a casual restaurant and watching football. It couldn’t have been better if we tried. Yesterday we had a BBQ, a nice summer sendoff if you will. And the house was epically destroyed in a fantastic way.
Today started off shitty, Dylan was up twice in the night with what we hope is teething. So essentially my day started at 5:30, wonderful. I have been going non-stop since basically. We celebrated Asher’s never-ending birthday at school this AM, then breakfast with friends, then back to school and then to swim class. I think I will just run in circles until I fall down later.
I did have a moment of serious sadness this morning, which is expected. While rocking Dylan to sleep last night and this morning, I realized that soon I won’t feel my baby on my chest anymore. I mean I will FEEL him but won’t feel him on my actual chest as it will become numb. I don’t think you can understand what I mean unless you have felt a baby on your actual chest, especially being a mother.
There is something so special to feel a baby against you, knowing that you are their comfort. I breastfed Dylan (ok tried), and during those two months there is an unbreakable bond with your child. In a strange way it is good that I did breastfeed him, because I didn’t with Asher. I am happy that I had that chance to do that, because obviously I never will again. Mainly for the reason I am not having more kids, and you can’t get milk from fake boobs! That woke me up with a pang in my heart, but an understandable one. It was really hard for me to write about this, but we are friends right?
OK enough of the sappy shit, tomorrow will probably be a long drawn out boring post. I’ll save that for then. So for now I have to go comfort my miserable teething baby, he won’t stop crying. Send Bourbon. Apparently it’s good for the gums, and mothers alike.
xo,
Jessie