Well I had to go to a different doctor today. The ear doctor. I’ve been having this weird feeling in my ear for 3 weeks now, and figured it was time to go see the doctor. My surgeons told me not to muck with it before surgery so I listened. I had talked to my NP at Tower a few weeks back and she told me to take some decongestants, didn’t help. So now that I’m somewhat back on my feet I called the ENT.
I gave mom a break today and put my big girl panties on to ask a friend for a ride. Well actually I asked 7 and accepted the first offer. I was so impressed with myself, I never say yes! Anyway, Jamie came to get me this morning and we had an adventure. To the doctor we went. I wish I had the picture of the socks another woman was wearing in the waiting room. It was like 3 pairs of white scrunchy socks with Reeboks. Pretty epic.
Before the doctor came in, the completely unprofessional nurse came in to check my chart. She told us about all of the anti anxiety meds she was on and then stopped cold turkey. Now she smokes weed. I have never been more uncomfortable or wanted to laugh more in my life. When she left, Jamie and I looked at each other and said “What the fuck was that?” Anyway, we were all pretty convinced that I just had a blockage but nope noting in there. I’m telling you, I tried ear drops, decongestants, hydrogen peroxide you name it. All he saw was normal stuff and the drops I used. Basically the doctor said it was stress and if it doesn’t go away in a few weeks maybe I should get a hearing test. What could cause stress in my life?
I told Zack what happened and he was convinced that this could be from the chemo. I was like no way, but he was like way. After some google research he is right I believe. I posted in a few of my Facebook Cancer groups and a few women said the same thing. They had the same full feeling in their ear. Anyway, Zack now has his MD and I appreciate his googling efforts. Lets hope it goes away bc it’s really fucking annoying.
After the doc we met Daniella for lunch, my first foray back into the real world after surgery. I was definitely self conscious to go out, but felt so good to be out with friends who weren’t judging me. We were just judging others (as usual, duh).
It was a good day, I started to feel a little better about the situation now that it is all REAL. The numbness in my chest isn’t going away, the scars aren’t either. It’s time to put my big girl panties on again and face my new life. As hard as it is to swallow, this is the new me even with my temporary itty bitty titties.
Until tomorrow friends…
xo,
Jessie