I say that, because that’s what I made cancer- MY BITCH. So vulgar and innaprporiate but that’s what makes this blog, yes? I AM CANCER FREE!!! I DON’T NEED RADIATION!!!! I am shouting from the rooftops today, it has been a long ass road but damn I am finally seeing the light.
I was diagnosed, took my health and well being into my hands, saw countless number of doctors and had scans and then sat myself down into a chemo chair on May 19. Almost 5 months to the day, I find out for certain that I will not need radiation. The relief is huge, the shock is huge. The reality has not set in.
I haven’t been in a blogging mood lately, although I found out a week after my surgery that I was cancer free. I didn’t want to really announce anything until I saw my oncologist today. Not only am I cancer free, but I had a pathologic complete response which is pretty wonderful. There was some residual DCIS left over in my breast, but that is normal because the type of chemo I was on doesn’t kill it. But it’s gone, so that is all what matters. It is most likely fermenting in a lab at Cedars, as I donated my tissue to science. Awesome.
Now that this nightmare seems to be ending, I can plan on the exchange surgery where I get out my expanders and permanent implants placed. I can also move forward with my life. That’s what I missed the most. I miss holding my babies, I miss getting Dylan out of his crib. I feel terrible that Zack has to do it all but is doing it like a champ. I just want to move forward with my life, my kids and future. Maybe a vacation or two also.
On a positive note, the expanders aren’t totally horrible anymore. They aren’t comfortable don’t get me wrong, but livable. I have found a comfortable position to sleep, basically falling into pillows and then flopping onto my side. Sexy it’s not, but I am past that these days.
It has been quite the road, and you have stuck by me. I find that I have fewer things to write about these days, but I think it’s time. You have heard it all. I spared you the pictures, but I described a shit ton to you. I thank you for being a faithful Cupcakes and Chemo follower! Thank you for all of your love and support as always.
xo,
Jessie