Time goes by

Posted on

Today is October 3, 2016.  Today marks 5 months from the day I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer.  It is also Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year.  How crazy is that?  Here I sit recovering from the biggest surgery that I hope to ever have to go through, and it is the start of a new fresh year.  For Jews at least.

Over the years we have become less religious, which has definitely made me feel guilty.  With Asher going to a temple for preschool, it has brought religion back into all of our lives and we love it.  Hearing him say the blessings and wishing me a happy new year this morning means the world to me (and us).  I also believe that my experience over the last 5 months has made me more of a believer and spiritual.  I have probably prayed more lately than in my entire life!  Apparently my prayers worked because I woke up from surgery.  Sorry, but it was a real fear!

Anyway, today is a day that we eat, drink and be merry.  We are ringing in the new year with family.  All I want for this new year and all that follow is a clean bill of health for myself and those all around me.

I still can’t believe all that has gone on during these 5 months.  I am still so shocked.  Not in denial, as I have actual pain that I can’t ignore but shock.  It’s so crazy what can go on in life, but it just makes you that much more aware of yourself.  I can’t stress enough how important it is to give yourself breast exams monthly, but also make sure you get your PAP done, your blood work checked, colonoscopy and anything else you need!  Be your own advocate, no one else will if you don’t.

I wish you all the sweetest New Year, filled with only the best that life has to offer. L’Shana Tova.



Rockstar status, denied

Posted on

Today is Erev Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year.  It is a time for celebration, reflection and joy.  Boy could the Brown and Gersten families use some joy and good news this year!  I think I will smother my entire apple and challah slice in honey to ensure that I have a super duper sweet year.

Last night was a bit tougher than the night before, but not terribly so.  I think that I fell into a deep sleep, and tried to roll onto my side.  That is nearly impossible because these drains and pain just won’t let that happen!  I forgot how much I hate sleeping on my back.  Even through both pregnancies I managed to not sleep on my back.  It is also really annoying to remember to take all 4 meds I need and then have to space them out.  Apparently you can’t take Percocet too closely to my antibiotic or I will get nauseated, then there’s Ativan and Lexapro.  I’m a pharmacy with drains.  The good news is that I was able to get up alone and not wake Zack up this morning.

I might have overdone my movement yesterday, it’s like forgetting you can’t do something and then try to reach and instead have alligator arms that don’t let you get the glass.  Yea that happened a few times, even with my drinking glass.  Every day a little better, every day a little stronger.  The drains are getting less and less, so I hope Tuesday I get some of them out.

I’ve been called a Rock star during my entire treatment.  I don’t feel like one, no one would ever want my autograph.  I am just a 35-year-old mother and wife who is 100% completely honest on how much Breast Cancer sucks donkey ass and changes your life.  The whole reason for this blog is to be open and honest with you all in the hopes I help someone.  So you can think of me as a rock star, I just consider myself honest.  And funny.  If anything, I think cancer made me funnier!   So who knows what will happen to my blog when I am finished with it (Don’t worry I am not stopping), but hopefully I can use it as a too to help those suffering get through this a little better.

With that I bid you adieu.  It’s Sunday football and I am not going to watch.  I have terrible 80’s movies on my DVR instead!




Well it’s done

Posted on

Hello, literally from the other side!  Surgery was on Wednesday, and today is Saturday.  Time flies when you’re having fun or are on Percocet.  So far so good, I am in pain but today is much better.

The surgery itself was about 7 hours, and my parents and Zack had a party in the waiting room.  There was a bag of chips to choose from for every different cuisine.  Thank you to everyone who came to keep Zack and my family company wednesday,  I would have been there but I was a little tie-up.

The actual procedure went extremely well.  Dr. Dang only had to takeout TWO lymph nodes to test, and both turned out to be NEGATIVE!  That means that it never spread, thank GOD!  Dr. Slate said his surgery was a bit longer than Dang’s, but that’s because there was more tissue to take out on the right side. All in all it went perfect and it is behind me now.  I am now left with expanders that I am pretty self conscious about.  Oh well, we will all get over them because I am alive.

Thursday was so painful, that I literally felt like a bus had driven over my chest and then I was punched on the sides.  During surgery they give you two nerve blocks to numb the pain on your sides, it definitely worked but wouldn’t want to imagine pain without that.  I could have had another Thursday, but the pain wasn’t exactly in the right spot to cover it, so I said no to it. I had a great team of nurses at the  hospital, it was my first stay at Cedar’s and hopefully last!  I was on the 8th floor, apparently that’s THE floor to be on.  I felt super special.

Now that I am home, it is pretty difficult with the kids.  They want to climb on me and hug me, and I can’t for a while.  I know this will take a toll on everyone involved.  Thankfully we have a few people the kids love to watch them aside from our family.  Vacation for everyone after this is over!

Thank you to everyone for the calls, texts, messages, food, dessert and flowers!  Seriously I have the most wonderful friends and family, and friends who have become family.  I love you, and you know who you are.  You are my life, my Frank’s, my friends.  If it wasn’t for all of your support I’m not quite sure I’d be in the mental state that I am now, which is OK.

Much Much Much LOVE!!!



P.S. Happy Breast Cancer Awareness Month!