I made it through day 1! One down, 5 more chemo treatments to go. Maybe people are wondering what my cryptic Facebook and Instagram posts are all about. I am not ready to go public with my blog, but if you feel like sharing, please do! I feel that the cat will get out of the bag sooner rather than later. It has become easier for me to have people spill the proverbial beans so to say. It is an exhausting topic and I really don't like rehashing it every two minutes. So if you feel inclined, drop the cancer bomb and watch their eyes bug out. It has become rather amusing to me. I am so sick and twisted. So much so, that I've been calling myself swisty.
Anyway, I slept last night and was able to knock out around 9;45 thanks to Ativan. That shit is strong. I woke up at 4:45, before Dylan! I didn't move until 5;45 though, thanks Asher. He does sense something is going on, I can only imagine what a 3.5 year old who is so used to mommy being around to vanishing for hours at a time. So I did what any normal mom would do. I lied. I told him that I got a job where I will be gone for a few days at a time. I'm sure he won't care as long as I am there for bedtime and presents.
I think that's the hardest part right now, adjusting to not being around the babies so much. Dylan is now 9 months old- how that happened I have no idea. Asher is 3.5, how is that even possible! Everyone thought I was insane for sending out a save the date card for the kids. What else am I going to do while getting toxic drugs in my system than divert and plan fun things? So those who were wondering, yea I did send that card from my chemo chair. Again, I'm swisty.
So here I sit with hydration in my veins and a shot of Neulasta later. Hopefully the drugs they gave me yesterday will be enough to hold me through the weekend and the worst of the nausea won't actually hit me. Medicine has come a really long way, where they don't expect you to be hugging the toilet like many of you did in college (I was an angel of course and didn't do that).
I don't know what this weekend will actually bring, but I am prepared to face the worst and hope for the best. You are all my guiding lights and I thank you all so much for your unwavering support. My entire family thanks you and I don't know what I did to deserve you all but I love you all so much. I guess I had to get cancer but maybe it was worth it? KIDDING! Oh and a big shout out to my nurse Stephanie. SHE'S THE SHIT! And Gavin, my cold cap guy. He's the dude who's making sure I keep my hair.
Happy Friday!
xoxo
Jessie