Today wasn't good, today wasn't bad. It was just a day. I'll take it. I had to go to my oncologist for a week check in. My oncologist, how prestigious does that sound? No just sounds weird to me!
I had a 10:30 appointment with Paige, the amazing Nurse Practitioner over at Tower. Apparently I am very lucky that I get to work with her, and I admit she's amazing!!! We will be besties by the time this is over. Hi Paige!
The point of today was just to see how I was doing 1 week post treatment. I can't believe it has been 7 days already! Every day is a little better, thank god. The good news is that I am textbook in my reactions, the bad news is well…you know. Cancer. But seriously, they were very happy how I took to treatment and should expect the same effects for the next 5 rounds. That makes it less stressful to know exactly how I will feel.
Apparently there are A LOT of side effects from chemo that one would never expect. Like my tongue feeling like I burnt it on hot coffee. I haven't had coffee in a week. I miss coffee. I can drink it, but so don't want to. I have zits, I can't sleep, the list goes on. The worst is that I can't really eat. For those of you that really know me, you know that food is basically my life aside from my family. If push came to shove, I might save a sandwich before my dog. This eating thing is freaking me out! I can't eat! I want food! Food is so revolting to me that I seriously get anxious about it. I mean I get anxious about food without cancer, so imagine what a big deal this is to me!!!
If you have been pregnant, the only way to explain is that first few months when you look at food and want to throw up. Kinda like when you look at your husband during labor and saying fuck you for doing this to me. Same feeling. I am so mad at food! Guess what I was able to eat today, French Fries. Of course, right? So that's my new fight, with food. I want greasy food, no can do because lord knows what will happen. So here I am stuck in the land of cheese and carbs. I should be French.
Don't be too worried about me, I will eat, I will overcome. I always do. This might be a bigger struggle, but I got this. Ugh, nothing sounds good!
OK, perhaps its a mac and cheese night. Now that sounds good!
xo,
Jessie