Warrior status: back

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This is my fight song
Take back my life song
Prove I’m alright song
My power’s turned on
Starting right now I’ll be strong
I’ll play my fight song
And I don’t really care if nobody else believes
‘Cause I’ve still got a lot of fight left in me

– Rachel Platten “Fight Song”

So I have had a few shit days, and I still feel pretty shitty but that doesn’t mean I am not fighting.  I posted a picture on Facebook that said “Keep Calm and Fight On.” Well, I am fighting fuckers.

The in home hydration seemed to really help yesterday, but today I feel pretty queasy again although I am not so sure why.   Funny enough, my friend said the same thing happened to her (she is going through treatment also).  Last night I caved and vaped some pot.  Is that what the cool kids call it these days?  I didn’t smoke it, I didn’t eat it, I used a vaporizer for it.  BTW, I am legal and under doctors orders to smoke.  I have a certificate.  So lookie there, I had to get cancer to smoke pot finally.  Someone I know is very proud of me.

So the pot, I kinda liked it! I wasn’t feeling well this afternoon and took a few hits and passed out.  I am still queasy but I guess that’s normal.  I would rather smoke than be in a prescription bottle haze like I have been.  I am finally not so foggy that I was able to watch two shows.  That is progress.  They were Royal Pains and Devious Maids, so it’s not like I was being all intellectual.

I was able to make it to school with Marlyn to get Asher, that was a big step.  Mostly because my hair looks absolutely gross but also I hadn’t been out of the house since Friday.  It was important to me to get him today, I made my goal.

With that I bid you adieu, I sense some cookies (there are sooooo many here) and pot in my future.  I get it why people give cancer patients lots of sweets….. they know we get high!

xo,

Jessie

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