This is my fight song
Take back my life song
Prove I’m alright song
My power’s turned on
Starting right now I’ll be strong
I’ll play my fight song
And I don’t really care if nobody else believes
‘Cause I’ve still got a lot of fight left in me
– Rachel Platten “Fight Song”
So I have had a few shit days, and I still feel pretty shitty but that doesn’t mean I am not fighting. I posted a picture on Facebook that said “Keep Calm and Fight On.” Well, I am fighting fuckers.
The in home hydration seemed to really help yesterday, but today I feel pretty queasy again although I am not so sure why. Funny enough, my friend said the same thing happened to her (she is going through treatment also). Last night I caved and vaped some pot. Is that what the cool kids call it these days? I didn’t smoke it, I didn’t eat it, I used a vaporizer for it. BTW, I am legal and under doctors orders to smoke. I have a certificate. So lookie there, I had to get cancer to smoke pot finally. Someone I know is very proud of me.
So the pot, I kinda liked it! I wasn’t feeling well this afternoon and took a few hits and passed out. I am still queasy but I guess that’s normal. I would rather smoke than be in a prescription bottle haze like I have been. I am finally not so foggy that I was able to watch two shows. That is progress. They were Royal Pains and Devious Maids, so it’s not like I was being all intellectual.
I was able to make it to school with Marlyn to get Asher, that was a big step. Mostly because my hair looks absolutely gross but also I hadn’t been out of the house since Friday. It was important to me to get him today, I made my goal.
With that I bid you adieu, I sense some cookies (there are sooooo many here) and pot in my future. I get it why people give cancer patients lots of sweets….. they know we get high!
xo,
Jessie