I’m in a crap mood

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Yea I won’t lie, I am in a bad mood today.  I have fucking cancer I am entitled to it.  To top it off, Constantine didn’t show up, because he had a problem with another patient.  So I have Beanna today.  I like her, she set me up and went to run and errand.  No awkward small talk.

My parents took the kids for a few hours today so I can do my hydration without freaking them out, and Zack could use a few hours of solitude I am sure.  I LOVE my children but shit they are tiring after chemo!

I looked at my calendar today, and I have 60 days left of the first part of my treatment.  In 60 days, if all goes according to plan, I will have my last chemotherapy.  60 days.  That is just two months.  That’s fucking nuts.  Three more infusions to go, three more recoveries and then a month of recuperation then right into surgery.

The good news is that I haven’t had to take any of my meds yet for nausea or pain.  This time three weeks ago I was a walking disaster, actually a laying down disaster unable to keep my head up.  To say this is an improvement is an understatement.

Well here is to feeling ok for the rest of the day and or weekend.  I hope I will be somewhat coherent for the 4th.  I love the 4th of July! oh well, there is always next year.

Thanks for listening to me bitch as always.



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