To say that I am in a bad mood today is a serious understatement. I have the cancer blues today and nothing is getting me out of it. I look like shit, feel like shit (mentally) and just literally want to sleep the day away so it is tomorrow.
Things have just gone all wrong today and I guess it is nobody’s fault but my own or maybe not. I don’t even know anymore. I feel like I am fighting with anyone who comes into my view, including my kids and family. I hate this cancer thing, I really, really do. I don’t want it, I didn’t ask for it and I am really not ok with it anymore. Not like I ever really was.
On the plus side, I am feeling better physically but the other side effects have kicked in. I am officially a metallic mouth and food is the enemy. I am once again playing my game with eating and you know how much I hate that.
But back to my point, I hate cancer. I really hate it and what it does to people. It doesn’t just affect the one suffering, because it affects everyone involved. Whether it is the patient, the husband, children or friends. Everyone is susceptible to some sort of cancer aspect whether they like it or not. I said this morning, I didn’t want to get cancer. I don’t think anyone really does. I just wish people could see it from my perspective and understand how it does feel. It’s a lonely, lonely place and I really hope that tomorrow is a better day. It really can only go up from here I suppose.