Having Breast Cancer initiates you into a club that you never wanted to be a part of, but are very special one to be in. Sounds weird, right? It’s like a sisterhood, but different from any family or sorority that you know of. It is a COMMUNITY. The love that one emits from one warrior to another is astounding. It is an all-embracing love blanket that you accept from friends and strangers alike.
When I found out I had cancer, I immediately turned to a friend who had had cancer also. She was the only one, aside from a distant relative that I personally knew that had battled and won. The sisterhood with her was immediate. She had undergone treatment, although different from mine, and a double mastectomy. I knew she would be a good sounding board to lean on. I also have a friend who gave me an awesome gift a few weeks back, who had a prophylactic mastectomy, again love pours out of her and into me. Although we had different situations, there is a connection there.
I find myself so open in groups on Facebook or talking to people who have gone through this. I have always been a social media geek, but I want to speak and be heard on the forums now. I want to share my feelings and experiences. When I get an invite to join a group for Breast Cancer patients, I am PROUD to be a part of it. I got one today from a girl who I don’t even know, but we have friends in common and I accepted. She took it out of the kindness of her heart to include me. We have now formed a friendship online, another sisterhood.
Then there is my friend from my oncologist. The sisterhood and bond that we have formed over these few short weeks is something that cannot be unbroken. We literally text each other all day long about everything and anything we can think of. I’ve said it before, but I am so lucky to have her in my life. I think she is stuck with me forever.
I say all of this because I was kind of hit with a realization that some “friends” aren’t really friends. I understand that people have their own lives and are free to do whatever they want but they don’t show up. Basically some people are all talk but no walk. When they heard about my diagnosis, it was all “I’m here for you, here for the kids! Anything you want!” I know totally that it is so hard for some to deal with this information, but again it is not hard to pick up your phone and send a text. Phones are basically attached to our bodies at this point. I have heard from Facebook acquaintances more than certain friends from my past.
I thought that I could count on a few certain people, but nope. And you know what? That is OK with me. I know who loves me and is there for me, and who isn’t. I am sure they won’t read this or any of my other blogs, and again fine with me. I am writing this as a type of closure for myself. It might sound mean, but I needed to get it out on here.
To those close, those near and far, the new friends I have made and old, the strangers reading this and following, thank you. Thank you for being there for me whether it is physically in person or leaving a comment. I read every single one you leave (Hi Glo!) and appreciate all of the Facebook and text messages. I am a tough bitch and will keep on kicking ass and taking names. Don’t worry, I won’t report you to Santa for being selfish and going on the naughty list.
5 thoughts on “Sisterhood of the traveling tumors?”
I’m an old high school friend of zack’s and saw your blog thru another friend. Keep fighting and being an inspiration to others!!
So sweet. Feel the same way! There is a quote that a friend told me ten years ago that really stuck with me. “Every friend serves a purpose, but not every purpose serves a friend.” Hope you found the closure that you deserve. Loved the post. Xx
I am Deanna linder’s mom.your outspoken,honest attitude is incredible and I wish you and your family strength ,health and humor during this fucked up time. My husband is a cancer survivor and the club that we all belong to is one that you would have never wanted to join, but once you were inducted you will be special for the rest of your long life..take care and stay tough
Jessie I think your great, strong funny and did I say stong? Can’t wait to see you again it’s only been like 20 some years! Reading and laughing, crying and wishing it was Christmas for you because I won’t be ready til December! Xoxo Jackie
I felt the same way when my dad died. Completely alone and lots of ppl saying this that and the other exactly at that moment but then not following through or not actually being there. Diff ppl are able to do/offer diff things, but it’s about the follow through and not a one and done. (Just my thoughts 🙂 )