I am a human pin cushion

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That is how I feel today, along with being emotionally drained.  I had my PICC line placed today, and that was not fun.  It didn’t hurt, but it was a little more work than I was told.

When I made the appointment last week, the nurse told me that it would take 5 minutes.  Ok maybe the actual placement takes 5 minutes, but the entire procedure is about 45 minutes.  So of course I was late to get Asher, who was sitting next to the door waiting for me when I got there.  Insert sad music.

Anyway, I am depressed today for so many reasons.  Mainly because I go in for my 5th chemo tomorrow, and now that I can’t shower normally for another month or so.  Maybe if I’m lucky I’ll get a break for a few days before my surgery, where I can wash my hair normally and not have Glad Press N Seal over my arm.  A gal can dream, right?

So now I have tubing hanging out of my arm, and I am terrified that if I move weird or a kid grabs it, that it will fall out.  Oh, the nurses warned me this could happen.  Their advice was to not push it back in, DUH.  I have cancer but I am not stupid.  It’s like I am starting a new gang with a constant bandage on my arm, I’m so cool.  I’ll call myself the Bandageitos.

I have a confirmed surgery date of September 28th at 6am.  We are on the books with my surgeons, so relieved and scared.  The good thing is that I know it will suck for a few weeks, but then I know it will be better from there.  It is a strange way of thinking but it is what gets me through.  They wanted to do my pre-op on the 21st, but I said no. Why?  Because I am DETERMINED to take Asher to Disneyland for his birthday!

Lastly, I just tried to drop off all of the baby carriers to send to South Africa.  Of course there was a hiccup there.  The store that I went to was a UPS only store, and I need a Fed-Ex.  I didn’t have time to go to a different place, so another week of waiting to send.  Why would anything go right today?

Hope your day is better than mine!

xo,
Jessie

 

4 thoughts on “I am a human pin cushion”

  1. So sorry you’ve had a depressing day. Here’s praying for an easier day tomorrow. There’s good and bad about your fifth treatment ….. Bad you’re having to go through it but good that there’s a light at the end of the tunnel!!!! Here’s to deep breathing and relaxing if possible tomorrow. I’m routing for you Jessie and know you’ll be fine. Just try and keep good thoughts and know there are people who love you. Hugs!!!

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